I could write about you in the third person

About Me

For the previous version of my website, I wrote my “About” page in the third person, an activity I found highly amusing. FOR A MINUTE. The last line read: “She prefers salty to sweet, is not overly fond of small children, and writes copy that keeps people awake.”

This is what people said: “So. I guess you don’t like kids.” And I replied: “But the whole point of that sentence! Was…! No…? You don’t…?”

Whereupon which I resolved to never again write about myself in the third person.

So. Here are a few things you should know:

  • I like words. Like, A LOT. I read lip gloss labels, cereal boxes, book flaps.
  • I graduated from college with degrees in Biology and Physical Sciences. I looked at lots of creepy-crawly things through a microscope; I still pine over Grey’s Anatomy.
  • See, my grand plan was to become a medical doctor. Then I changed my mind. It’s okay to change your mind, right?
  • Then I moved to California and fell in love with this thing called the Internet. I think it was invented by Al Gore? Anyway — I co-founded a software company in 1998. We were working on some super-fantastic technology, but we got caught in the dot-com bubble, and we burst. The end.
  • So I decided to focus on writing. I still liked words, after all. And the Internet. And so I did.
  • Since then, I’ve worked on so many projects I can’t list them all. If I did, your head would start spinning. Then I’d have to bring you a chair so you could sit down.
  • But if you want, you can see some of them here.
  • I love helping people figure out how to tell their story. For a product, or a service, or a fantastic notion that suddenly occurred to you while you were stuffing fish tacos into your maw at 2 am. Call me crazy, but I think it’s FUN.
  • I’m not an expert. I am like one of your customers. A customer who just so happens to be handy with words and sentences.
  • You should know that I’m allergic to marketing-speak. Jargon makes my head explode. Which isn’t pretty.
  • Yeah, so. I should probably say something here about how small children give me the heebie-jeebies, but I think I’ll let that slide this time.